If you have crutches, just take my seat, damn it.

Apparently the universe heard that I was writing this blog, and decided to give me an adventure on wheels (or rather, adventure on electrified train tracks) today.

But before I launch into my story, I should pause for a moment and explain the various forms of transportation that I use. If for some reason you're insane enough to keep reading this blog (...or awesome enough to keep reading?), you'll need to know the following:

My main form is the Path - a subway-like system (actually it preceded the subway by about 40 years) that runs from New Jersey into Manhattan. For you Wikipedia nuts, check it out. My specific Path ride is approximately 15 minutes at the beginning and end of my daily journey. In between, I use the one and only New York City MTA subway system (shazam!). On rare occasions, I use the LIRR (Long Island Rail Road), NJ Tranist (trains to NJ), and so on.

Back to today.

This morning was its own hectic episode, which resulted in the fantastic montage of me running up to the subway doors, yelling, "Wait! Wait!" only to find the conductor staring at me blankly as the automatic doors slammed shut. "Wait?" I asked, pathetic and breathless. The conductor raised his eyebrows at me, turned his head, and the subway train sped away, leaving me in its dust.

And that was just this morning.

I was then hit by some jarring personal news in the middle of the day (thank goodness, all is mostly okay now), but it distracted me enough that by the time 6pm rolled around, I realized that I hadn't eaten a thing all day. So I broke my cardinal rule of eating on the subway (some day later, we'll get to that). I grabbed a bag of Sun Chips (really, are there any chips more delicious?) and off I went.

By the time I took the subway to the Path, I had half a bag left. With my mind still focused on the earlier drama, I absent-mindedly wedged myself between two broad-shouldered business men and munched on my Sun Chips. Munch, crunch, munch, crunch. The noise, I realized, in comparison to the post-Monday work day sedative, was defeaning. I chewed slower. Munch.....crunch.....munch....crunch. Softer. Munch......crunch.....munch. You cannot eat a bag of Sun Chips quietly. This, unfortunately, I seem to forget every time I have them.

I plowed my way through the remaining half a bag, and with a mouthful of those addictive, savory bits of heaven, I nearly sighed. I was done causing a slight scene.

Except, I still had the bag to put away.

Have you ever realized that it is impossible to scrunch up a plastic-y, sticky chip bag without making some type of noise? And even if you try to move slowly, folding it smaller, one crease at a time, it seems to be louder? I ended up just shoving it into the bottom of purse, Sun Chip crumbs falling everyone, I'm sure.

At this point, I figured that the remaining ten minutes could be serene, calm. And it was. Until a young woman with crutches got on the train. Immediately, five of us jumped up to offer her our seat. She smiled and politely refused. So we sat and stared at the girl on crutches.

We sat and stared at her as the train weaved and she wobbled from side to side. We sat and stared at her as the train came to a crashing halt and (as a small child shrieked, "WHY ARE WE STOPPED?") and her crutch went flying a few feet in front of her. No one picked it up. Hey, she said she didn't need a seat, she obviously didn't need our help.

(I joke - I'm not an entirerly mean person. I pushed the crutch back to her with my foot).

And we sat and stared at her as the train lurched to a start again, sending her stumbling backwards into a pole. When the train arrived to our destination, everyone jumped in front of her to get off.

It was a picturesque moment to end the day.